God is Not Lost

I am
I cannot write for my sisters; and yes they, Angela & Laura, are my sisters. We are different and yet the same. I believe the word is "diverse". We three are a snapshot of what your eyes see - we have a different point of view.

The year is almost over and the last half has expanded, enlarged, our boundaries - my boundaries. We continue to process what we experienced on the road differently and as we talk with each other I get a fuller picture of the experience.

How am I lost? I won't count the ways. Maybe I should ask, "What have I lost?"
My PRIDE
This film cannot be completed without help from others. I can't do this alone. Resources are needed; human and material and financial. I don't have the needed resources and can't create them out of thin air.

My VIEW OF GOD
God has left the box I mad for him. Although a very large box - he's gone. He walked away, left without warning. I may have seen his back through a cloud of some etheral substance - I think.
Either way, when he left, the force of his leaving knocked me on my ass - emotionally, spiritually, and yes, physically (I've gained weight stuffing doubt & unbelief down my throat!)
I do believe God's dissipated into life around me; people around me. there's renewed excitement in looking for him knowing I'll probably continue to find him where I least expect.

My EXPECTATIONS OF PEOPLE
I continue learning that we, people, are broken. I cannot receive what people don't want to give. And I continue to be amazed to silence by the support of those who don't have anything to give; and do!
Which leads me back to my initial "ah ha!" moment - God is not lost, I am. With this knowledge, comes some freedom. I do not speak the same language as God speaks or we don't have the same definition of common words or phrases like "CAN I GET SOME HELP HERE!"

I again am continuing to learn through moments of meditative silence to come out of myself and to "be" more instead of "do" more. Since June, when my journey began, I continue to "let go" of my need to do more, control more, to script and manipulate my life experience.

It's in the letting go that I'm experiencing something new - something I've yet to articulate well and so I continue to ponder these things.

The journey continues in a direction I'd not considered. Waiting has never been my strength. But in my learning how to wait, people are coming together to make this film com true.
The looking continues...